From Australia (The Law Institute of Victoria) .
Australia

What’s that I hear you say
You want a life in law
Then come, step my way
Let’s see what you have in store
First thing you should know
‘Get used to the dark’
You can see the light, but don’t touch
You’re not here for a lark
Then there’s billable units
You have to record your time
Failing to make budget
You don’t want that crime.
‘But the money’s so good,’ you say
Well, it works out at ten bucks an hour.
When you think of it like that
The image soon turns sour.
Let’s not start on the partners
‘Lords of their Manor’
You’ll soon find out
Your existence doesn’t matter
So there you have it
If you really want this rap
Better lose those illusions
And get ready for some crap.

From the United Kingdom (The Law Society Gazette, 2 September 1999)
United Kingdom

Choose life
Choose a job
Choose law
Choose shabby suits, C&A ties, a bicycle with a puncture, a shared flat at Clapham South
Choose snatched late night suppers in the canteen by yourself
While a partner you don’t really know goes to Conran with the client
Choose stress
Choose mind-numbing tedium
Choose staying up all night just waiting to proof pointless
contrived documents no-one ever reads
Choose blindness, stone-cold pizza, leprosy, ME and the sack for looking at the Internet at 25
Choose a kebab with extra chilli sauce early on a Sunday
morning and wondering where the **** you are.
Choose to give it up and be a bookie
Choose life.

From the United States (Robert J Lifton, a criminal practitioner from Chicago)
United States

My Client
Who came to me with tearful eyes,
with wringing hands and piteous sighs
and swore the charges were all lies?
               My Client

Who promised me while still in jail
that if I got him out on bail
my fees he’d pay and would not fail?
               My Client

Who caused me endless pain and grief,
and gave me almost no relief
from statements far beyond belief?
               My Client

But when at last we’d won the game
(the jury absolved him from all blame),
who shook my hand and praised my name?
               My Client

Then who, despite my earnest plea,
laughed at me and sneered with glee,
declined to pay my modest fee?
               My Client

Who, when I get into the mood,
will be repaid for acts so rude,
and get his ass … soundly sued?
               My Client

From Singapore .
Singapore

The 25-Hour Lawyer
(with apologies to Maya Angelou)
People wonder where my secret hoard lies
I don’t have as cushy a life as BT belies!
But when I start to tell them
They think I’m telling them lies
I say,
There’s never enough time
To do what life expects of me
Maybe with a 25th hour
I’ll try.

I walk into court
Just as frazzled as can be
And from a judge
‘Counsel, no adjournments this time.’
I wring my hands ‘Your Honour,
I say,
There’s never enough time
To do what law expects of me
Maybe with 25 hours
I’ll try.’

Clients themselves have wondered
What they have to pay me for
If I have to take an MC
Or not hear, for the tenth time,
their repeated lore
It’s not that I’m unsympathetic
I wish I could do more
I say,
There’s never enough time
To do what clients expect of me
Maybe with 25 hours
I’ll try.

Now you understand
If my head’s sometime bowed
Why I don’t shout or jump about
When annual leave is allowed
It’s often a fiction
Work is almost an addiction
Public holidays, what are they
I say,
There’s never enough time
To do what all expect of me
Maybe with 25 hours …
I’ll try and do — this much more!