Can I Have My Freedom?

I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life... [Henry David Thoreaux]

Iquit a well-paying legal job at the end of last year. My friends were very concerned about the step I was taking into the unknown when the country was going deeper into the throes of an economic recession. Others asked me whether my decision was influenced by the individuals I had interviewed for this column. I replied in the negative. These personalities only reinforced my existing thoughts, beliefs and values of life.

She is a New Zealander. He is an Asean scholar from Malaysia. She met him at the National University of Singapore Law Faculty. They both shared an interest in theatre. He acted in the Halls of Residence productions and directed theatrical productions for the NUS Theatre Ensemble while she acted in ‘Masters of the Seas’, Singapore’s first serious television English drama production. Although he was very mature for his age and was different from his peers, she was able to understand him, love him and share his ideals. Lim Bee Hong and Danny Leong got married three years ago. Their lives are atypical.

In his first few months of law practice, Danny looked at his seniors’ lives and saw his future in the legal profession — one filled with a very high level of stress and cynicism. He wanted to breathe and live a creative life. After a year’s legal practice, he started on a long, rough journey filled with colourful and different experiences, major uncertainties and often, vague directions. He joined a Management Development Programme with Tibbett & Britten plc, a multi-national logistics company and worked in London. After having lectured in the Film and Media Studies Department of Ngee Ann Polytechnic, working in a trading company and doing marketing and business development for Madam Tussaud’s Singapore, a member of a dot.com business, Danny is now a business partner of a training company targeted at the banking and finance sector. Bee Hong practised law for about two years and now works in a legal recruiting firm, Miller & Hunter. In their jobs, income is uncertain. They have lived from hand to mouth. ‘There were times when we had no money in our bank account. It was difficult but we were not discouraged,’ shared Bee Hong matter-of-factly. Bee Hong and Danny have one goal in their lives — freedom in the financial, intellectual and creative arenas of life. This pursuit of freedom is the source of daily motivation in their lives. Great believers in self-help, they invest in self-help courses such as those conducted by self-help guru Anthony Robbins, and in health and investment seminars. Danny, a tall and philosophical 31-year-old, had, since young, been exposed by his father to self-help theories and various forms of meditation including raja yoga.

After the initial introduction, he said to me that he was searching for the meaning of life. Yes! I have been searching for the same thing too for the last few years. Suddenly, the gloomy rainy night outside mattered no longer. What is the meaning of the pursuits we engage in every day? The days roll into months and then into years. What is the mission of our lives on this earth? Surely, we are put on this earth for some purpose beyond making lots of money, obtaining the necessary elevations in life and travelling on the road called ‘material upgrading’ which never ends until we reach our deathbed. How does a Singaporean discover the meaning of his life in Singapore?

‘You have to be prepared to embark on totally different pursuits in your life. Pursuing spiritual paths also helps,’ Danny explains. According to this extraordinary couple, constant self-improvement and self-examination of life is sustenance to their lives and equips them with strategies to reach for what they aim.

They believe freedom lays the foundation for creativity — an essential asset to both of them. Danny hopes to study filmmaking in the near future. One attribute of alternative lifers is that the individual has to continuously review the progress of his life and make changes to his life goals. What does Danny hope to achieve in his life? ‘I want to contribute in my own special way.’ Contributions celebrate a person’s life. We are not talking about renowned contributions; small but personal contributions suffice so long as they give meaning to our existence. One such example is our parents without whom we would not be in a comfortable position to ponder over our existence. Danny’s mother still worries about his life pursuits and had asked Bee Hong whether she knew what she was getting herself into by marrying her son! To Bee Hong, a happy and comfortable family life filled with children is her ideal.

I look at the people around me. I find many of them unhappy in their jobs and yet they put up with it. The salaries earned from their jobs allow them to build up their basic needs — luxurious homes, big cars, modern acquisitions, expensive holidays, patronising fine and expensive restaurants and nightspots. To most Singaporeans, this is the meaning of their existence and the only form of security that they know. If they are happy with this form of existence, there is nothing further to say. I know of many people who fall into this category. I am happy for them and envy them a lot. However, if we feel bored, unexcited by life, reach a phase where acquisitions do not bring much happiness or enter into a state of resignation, we must stop and examine our lives. We live to be happy. If we are not happy, something is amiss.

In Singapore where the majority of the population follows the mainstream, making an extraordinary decision that such a way of living is not for them and taking the alternative path is commendable and bold. It is like climbing Mount Everest — the conditions are very tough and burdensome, each step painful and lonely. Progress to the destination is not guaranteed. The chance of failure is higher than success. Alternative living is admittedly difficult and does not garner the admiration or support of family and friends. As one well-known individual who declined to be profiled in this column said, he does not regard himself as an example for individuals to emulate. It has been described as rash, impractical, economically unproductive or even selfish. I am very happy that Mother Teresa or Mahatma Gandhi did not think so. Otherwise, we would not have known of Khoo Swee Chiow or Jack Neo. Arts would not have been given its worthy place in Singapore and creative thinking would not have found its way into our school curriculum. As Danny asks, ‘Are we climbing a ladder because the person next to us is doing the same thing and pushing us along? Why not stop and examine whether this is at all the wall we want to climb?’

Rajan Chettiar
E-mail: rajanchettiar@pacific.net.sg