Quahe Mei Lin Vivien  7 November 1955 to 14 December 2002

‘As lawyers, you don’t compromise where work is concerned.’ These words were taken from the cookbook entitled ‘Food for Thought’ written by Vivien Quahe-Seah Mei Lin in 1999, and clearly reflected her attitude towards the practice of law, and her approach to life as well.

Vivien died on 14 December 2002 at the age of 47, approximately four years after she was diagnosed with breast cancer in May 1998. She fought a brave and gallant battle against cancer and was an inspiration to those who suffered from the same illness. She is survived by her mother, husband and two children.

Vivien was the only child of a loving and staunch Christian family. Her father, Reginald Quahe, was the former Deputy Vice Chancellor of the University of Singapore. He died of a heart attack in his office on 14 September 1977. After his death, the responsibility of taking care of her mother, Dolly Quahe, a retired teacher, fell upon Vivien. She did not fail her father in discharging this duty.

Law was not Vivien’s first love. She wanted to be a kindergarten teacher as she was fond of children. As an alternative, she wanted to pursue a course in hotel management. However, being a dutiful daughter, she studied law as this pleased her parents. After graduating in 1978, she worked as a legal executive and commenced practice only in the early 1980s. She worked as a legal assistant in a few firms and later set up her own practice as a sole proprietorship known as Vivien Quahe & Co. When the business grew, she subsequently went into partnership.

Her main areas of practice were conveyancing and solicitors’ work. Though law was not her passion, she nevertheless gave of her best. She was a meticulous person and would ensure that all matters were attended to promptly and efficiently. She was particular about neatness and grammar — the latter, not surprising, as her mother used to teach English.

She was exacting on her staff. When she had to handle some project work, the staff had to work past midnight but Vivien was there with them. She tempered her demands with kindness and thoughtfulness. I remember this because I was roped in to buy supper and drinks for them. Even when the illness took a toll on her and she had to reduce the number of trips to town, she would on occasion come to the office to have lunch with the staff to show her support and gratitude.

She was sensitive to her clients’ needs and ensured that she met those needs. She treated her clients beyond mere business opportunities and made friends with many of them. I was very touched when many of her clients who attended the wake or funeral service commented that she was indeed a very kind and gentle person who had that human touch.

Friends have always remarked that Vivien was on the go and ever so busy. Whilst this was true, this seeming busyness of hers was not solely a consequence of her obsession with work. Her hectic lifestyle stemmed from the demands she placed upon herself in fulfilling her roles as a lawyer, mother, wife, daughter, daughter-in-law and friend.

Vivien was a wonderful wife (I could not have hoped for more) and I became the envy of many of my male friends. She believed that a wife has to submit to her husband — but of course in a loving and caring manner. As a parent, she was giving and most loving — making sure that the children’s needs were attended to. As a daughter, she was also faultless in taking care of her mother’s every need. As a daughter-in-law, she was loving and respectful. She loved the family and cherished the time spent together as a family.

When she discovered that she had cancer, it was a shock for her as well as the family. However, her courage and faith in God gave us the strength to be alongside her and to see her through the fight against the disease. She developed a closer and more meaningful relationship with God and spent more of her time in God’s ministry.

One of her most satisfying moments was spent in the writing and publication of her cookbook ‘Food for Thought’. Cooking was one of her favourite hobbies. She would get terribly excited and immensely energised when she was cooking. About a week before Vivien passed away, one of her friends came over at her request, to teach our maid to cook her specialty, hokkien prawn mee soup. Vivien knew this was my favourite dish and to everyone’s amazement, Vivien, though hardly ambulant at that time, managed to go downstairs and participate in the cooking. That particular day was a happy one for her.

Even when undertaking the cookbook project, her meticulous and exacting nature surfaced. She wanted to ensure that the book was done well — no half measures. Hence, the many colourful photographs and the hard cover for the book. It was a runaway success with 18,000 copies being distributed. True to her sense and purpose for God, she donated the proceeds from the sale of the books to charity.

Vivien’s passing has been a great loss to our family and friends. She treasured her friends and treated them well. This accords with her simple belief that you must always treat everyone with love and kindness. As she so aptly wrote in her book: ‘We all need friends. It is difficult finding real friends, so when you do, make sure you appreciate them and do not take them for granted, because they really are a blessing from God.’ How true those words are. It is really difficult to find a wife and a friend like Vivien. She has been a blessing to all those who have known her.

Steven Seah Seow Kang
Seah Ong & Partners