Givers and Takers

‘I am busy at work. I have no time.’

‘I will do it tomorrow.’

‘I am very stressed. I hate my job. I have no choice but to continue working. I need the money.’

I am guilty of making these statements countless times in my life. From my nine year old godson to my over 50 mother, everybody gives some of these infamous excuses. I wonder what constitutes being busy. Will we ever have time in our lives? Recently, a friend remarked that after deducting seven hours for sleep, we have 17 whole hours to play with in our lives every day. How do we use these 17 hours? Numerous articles in the local newspapers, magazines, books and the Internet advise us about maximising the time in our lives. Does all this literature help us to manage our time better? No. The excuses have become such an integral part of our lives that we do not even think twice before muttering them in response to a failure to perform an act.

We are masters of Time. After attending a series of personal training workshops in the last few months, I became aware that we always have the time to do the tasks that we want to do. We may not always know what matters to us and whether we want to accomplish what matters to us. In helter-skelter Singapore, we are caught up in the whirlwind of what we call Life. We are like robots engaged in numerous activities every day of our lives. What do these activities mean to us? Why are we involved in some of these activities? How do these activities further our life goals?

Many individuals have taken a step away from this chaotic society to examine their lives. They understand what their lives means to them. They appreciate what the people around them mean to them and give thought to how they can touch the lives of these people. ‘People’ extended beyond their families and friends and are members of the human race. This group of individuals whom I shall refer to as givers, love People and wanted, in their own unique ways, to make a contribution to the lives of People. We all know of and have heard of many such givers. The legal profession too has many current and former lawyers who are givers. When I wanted to interview a couple of givers for this column, they were publicity-shy. ‘We are doing nothing extraordinary. Let us remain anonymous’, a senior female practitioner said. This practitioner loves and respects her clients. She sees her job as one that gives her the invaluable opportunity to solve the problems of members of the lower strata of our society. To her, the practice of law is about more than making money; it is about helping People.

She reminds me of my younger days when I was watching the law drama series, Paper Chase and other American legal and police dramas on television. I wanted to be a lawyer in order to help needy People. I felt that by becoming a lawyer I could make a difference in People’s lives by being present during the difficult and crucial periods of their lives. However, the commercial aspect of law practice makes it difficult for lawyers to view their jobs akin to that of social workers — one of caring and helping.

Many lawyers have begun a second career in social work. They work in voluntary welfare organisations or study for the Postgraduate Diploma in Social Work at the local university. Others have travelled to under-developed countries to do full-time volunteer work. Recently, I was introduced to a former lawyer who, after a short legal career in a local law firm and in a local hospital, found out that he could not empathise at all. He wanted to help People. He spent a year in Ghana volunteering in a non-governmental organisation assisting in child law work. He now hopes to be involved in the area of social justice.

I vividly remember a day when I was 15. I was sharing with my schoolmate about my great wish to help People. That was the first occasion that I acknowledged the fact that I wanted to give to People. It was only ten years later that I walked into the office of the National Council of Social Service to register myself as a volunteer.

Life is about ourselves and about others. From the day we are delivered into this world by the gynaecologist till the day the undertaker sends us away from this world, we are taking from People. Do we give to others? If so, do we give whole-heartedly or conditionally? Do we really love People or are we paying lip service? I am glad that we had the opportunity to face the painful economic recession and be subjected to the SARS outbreak. During the height of the SARS outbreak, I admit that I was terrified of infecting People if I were to become a victim. I think these incidents have made us realise that Singaporeans are not invincible and that nothing is certain in our lives in Singapore. The value of our lives, our appreciation of people and our love for others has deepened. Will these be forgotten when Singapore becomes prosperous and safe again?

Mother Teresa once challenged the world to love till it hurts. Serving humanity adds meaning to my life. It is an act of doing something that will create value in the lives of the recipients and at the same time, I receive many intangible gifts. The last six years of legal practice and the trials and tribulations that I have had to overcome in my life during the last five years has brought me back to my initial objective of becoming a lawyer. I now have the fulfilling opportunity to offer legal services with a heart. The practice of law is now meaningful and refreshing. I feel like a newly admitted lawyer. I am a full-time volunteer and a full-time lawyer.

Rajan Chettiar
Rajan Chettiar & Co
E-mail: rajanchettiar@pacific.net.sg