Man, Woman and Child

1988. I was sitting in the office of Mrs Ann Tan sharing a bowl of fruits with her. I was being interviewed by her for my very first job. She was warm and friendly. The firm, Ann Tan & Associates, felt homely. Sixteen years of friendship later, I was once again sitting in front of Dr Anamah Tan in her same office, where she was fresh from winning the elections in the United Nations’ Committee on CEDAW (Convention on the Elimination of Discrimination Against Women).

‘The spirit of volunteerism was inculcated in me during my school days in CEZMS school, the present St Margaret’s Girls’ School. During the 1950s, I remember selling flags. You know, it was a humbling experience. I felt thrilled when a dollar was dropped into my box,’ Dr Tan said.

During my four years in Messrs Ann Tan & Associates, the lawyers and staff used to address her as ‘Mum’ and her husband, Mr Paul Tan, ‘Dad’.

Looking at Dr Tan’s long and impressive list of volunteer work commitments, I noted that her social work career began back in 1968.

‘Who are you first — lawyer or social worker?’, I asked her.

‘Both.’

‘How is the social service scene in Singapore?’

‘We adopt a holistic approach to caring. There has been a lot of development in the areas of needs for the disabled and mental health. The disabled now have more opportunities, like the able bodied, to play their part in Singapore. The Government is taking more interest in the development of social services in Singapore. I am happy that the National Council of Social Services is progressively doing more too.’

‘In today’s legal practice where everyone’s favourite phrase is, “I have no time”, you manage to wear so many hats at the same time. How do you manage this? Is there any strategy that you can share with me?’

‘Strategy?’ She laughs. ‘If you want to do certain things, you will find the time to do it. Of course, sacrifices have to be made. Integrity is important. If you make a promise, you must find the time to fulfil it. Who will believe you if you are not true to your word? Eventually, you won’t believe in yourself too?

‘I do a lot of volunteer work. At the back of my mind, I always question my motive — is it altruism or self-glorification. Is it wrong to be motivated by personal goals in the course of doing community work? I finally got the burning question off of my chest.

‘One will be terribly disappointed if one becomes involved in volunteer work for personal glorification. Having said that, you may be pleasantly surprised by the fruits of your labour!’

For Dr Tan, that pleasant surprise was when the then Minister For Community Development invited her to stand for elections for a seat in CEDAW during a lunch.

Her work in CEDAW includes studying the reports submitted by member countries, posing questions on the report to the country representatives, verifying the accuracy of the country reports and exploring ways to improve the standards used by the member countries.

‘I am a firm believer in the rights of women and the equal status of women in the world. I look at the status of women in the traditional Indian society and I feel that there is great inequality between Indian men and women. Perhaps, it is the result of tradition and culture’. This is one of my pet peeves. I was excited to hear Dr Tan, who is often referred to as a feminist, share her views.

‘It is sad to discover that the world is filled with down-trodden women. If the status of women is improved, equality prevails. The country then progresses and the world becomes a better place for one and all,’ she shared.

‘You are described as a feminist. Are you?’

‘If I am regarded as a feminist for standing for equality and equity, I am one then. Women’s liberation? It is a western concept. It would depend largely on the society and what their women want. In Singapore, I would say we have a ‘women’s movement’. It is quite sustained and quietly progressive.’

‘How did your involvement in the women’s movement begin?’

‘In the early 1970s, lawyers had a bad reputation. We were intimidating, expensive and perceived as arrogant. A group of eight women lawyers including myself wanted to do something to change this situation. After our Law Society did not support our idea, we then formed the Singapore Association Of Women Lawyers (‘SAWL’) in 1974. The general public was unsure about SAWL’s objectives then. We started by giving talks in factories in Jurong and in Citizens’ Consultative Committees.

‘Is there gender discrimination in Singapore?’

‘Yes, in certain sectors. The good news is that we have made some inroads — for example — the lifting of the quota of female students in our medical faculty and the partial medical benefits extended to female civil servants.‘

‘Are Singapore women given adequate chances to be equal leaders as Singapore men in the corporate world?’

‘If a woman leader has the ability and the capability to perform well, I do not see why she cannot be equal to a male leader. What women need is the opportunity to rise up. Gender equality in Singapore is a balancing act and it takes time to create. We are still adjusting to a comfortable level of equality between men and women. In the workplace, the benefit women bring to the organisation, the balanced gender ratio of the workforce and the requirements of the women employees need to be considered.‘

‘As corporate leaders, do you think women lose their feminine side?’

‘No. A female leader can be feminine and at the same time be tough. It is no excuse for a woman to lose her feminity in order to be a leader.’

‘Is Singapore ready for a woman Prime Minister?’

She laughs. ‘Singapore is ready for anything.’

‘I always wanted to ask you this: Which male individual 
inspires you?’

‘Well, female individuals inspire me too! In different phases of my life, different people have inspired me. In my youth, it was my father. Now, it is Dad. I have learnt to talk it through and get my way with Dad! I am in awe of Mahatma Gandhi and his stand for non-violence.’ 

‘Rajan, you know that I am an adopted child, right?’

‘Yes. I know a little about it.’

‘My parents are Chinese. I was given away by my natural parents to the Nagalingam family when I was a few weeks’ old. My adopted parents are Ceylonese. I was their youngest child. I grew up in a kampong in Singapore. The children I played with always asked me why I look Chinese when my parents are Indians.’

‘How did you feel about being an adopted child?’

‘It did not upset me too much. I am now in contact with my natural family and we meet every Chinese New Year.’

‘In traditional Indian households, fathers are the authority, respected and sometimes feared head of the household. The mother and children are expected to be subservient to the father.’

‘Oh yes, my father was the law in our household. It was he who wanted me to study law. I really wanted to be a teacher. Whilst waiting for my Senior Cambridge (the GCE ‘O’ Level Examinations), I taught English as a relief teacher in Nanyang Girls High School. When I was studying for my HSC (GCE ‘A’ level examinations) at Bartley Secondary School, I had a wonderful English literature teacher. I was so impressed. I regarded teachers as fountains of knowledge who were greatly respected. My dream was short-lived when my father put an end to it when he found out about my successful teachers’ training application. It was respect for my father that made me a lawyer, for which I am grateful.’

Dr Tan’s dream was to become a domestic teacher. She was later invited by Professor Tommy Koh to lecture the law subjects in the Building and Estate Management faculty at the National University of Singapore and at the Postgraduate Practical Law Course.

Regardless of her critics, I admire Dr Tan. Not because I have known her for many years but because of her unwavering stand for women, her willingness, dedication and boundless energy in making a significant contribution to Singapore and to the world we live in. Being an active volunteer and being involved in several projects outside my own law practice, family and friends, I fully appreciate the painful sacrifices, demands and hard work that is required of volunteers.

‘I am proud to be a Singaporean. I have seen Singapore grow from the 1940s till now. Education has played a significant role in our development and progress. We now have to build on that progress. We can afford to be more relaxed. That’s not a bad thing. However, there must be a purpose in our relaxation.’

After a number of years in private practice, in late 1983, Dr Tan contemplated doing international finance work. ‘Dad suggested I set up my own firm, and lent me money for it. That was how Ann Tan & Associates was set up. I started a small office at Afro-Asia Building with a secretary and a part-time staff. Within my first year, I made enough to pay off my loan with interest to Dad. He was very proud of me. You know, this was the best decision of my life. It gives me such great joy even today,’ she said and looked proudly around her office. I smiled in agreement.

‘What made you continue with your law practice and not concentrate on social work full time?

‘I am trained to practice law. I feel passionate about law. I feel for my clients.’

Dr Tan and her firm are synonymous with family law. It is an extension of her interest in women’s issues. ‘My approach is being empathetic to my clients’ problems and taking an active interest in their lives.’

‘What is marriage to you?’

‘It is the most intimate relationship of all relationships. At the outset of this relationship, a couple must trust each other, forgive each other and say sorry even when you think you’re right. If trust is absent, differences which arise between them cannot be worked out.’

‘My family and friends tell me that the purpose of marriage is to procreate. Is that the right reason to marry?’

‘No. Of course it is good to marry, but marry out of love for each other. When you are in the intimate relationship of marriage, you then move to the next level of the relationship — having children. The child cements the couple’s love for each other.’

‘How do you and Dad maintain your marriage with Dad spending a considerable amount of time outside Singapore and you in Singapore?’

‘Dad has a great influence in my life. He is wise, experienced and logical in his decision-making. My heart often rules me. I talk to him on the telephone every day, sometimes more than once when I want to discuss an issue with him. After years of marriage, I know what he would want for me and for himself. So I just do that.’

‘What is the role of the male in a marriage and in the family?’

‘It is not inferior to that of a woman. It is a partnership where men play an equal role in running the family and in the developmental years of the children.’

‘When a marriage breaks down, what is the role of family and friends?’

‘It is best that family and friends who have good intentions, stay away from taking sides. The couple are the best people to decide, with independent professional support.’

‘What is your role as a family lawyer?’

‘I ask my client to work out the differences with his/her spouse to reach an amicable solution which is suitable for him, her, the children and the in-laws.’

‘Which one matrimonial case has pulled at your heartstrings, which you remember till today?’

‘It was fifteen years ago. I handled a young lady’s divorce matter. She had a son and a daughter. I usually like to speak to the children of my clients. I remember telling the daughter that both her parents love her very much; it is just that her parents cannot synchronise their lives; think of your life without one parent as an adventure. I recently met the daughter who is now about 26. She reminded me of the advice I gave her, which she had lived by and took great comfort in.’

‘Your family is...’

‘Everything to me.’

‘How do you think  junior members of the Bar can be encouraged to remain in practice?

‘In the past, there were fewer lawyers. With more lawyers now, I do not see why younger members of the Bar should not be allowed to follow other life options. I have always told myself that I will not throw a file to my legal assistant on the day of the hearing. I only take work and give work to my legal assistant, which I can handle myself.

‘How would you describe yourself?’

‘Being at peace with myself and knowing what I am doing. I am me who happens to be there to do the work. Practical. Realistic.’

‘What is your guiding principle of life?’


‘Believe in the Creator. I am a baptised Roman Catholic.

‘Who are your mentors?’

‘The late Mrs Julie Tan who was instrumental in bringing me into the international voluntary social work arena, the World YWCA. The late Ms Lenka Marioko, a Yugoslavian lady. She was a great influence in a phase of my life when I was coming to terms with existentialism issues such as, who am I? Why am I here?’

‘You have met many individuals in the course of your work and social work. Is there someone in particular you would like 
to meet?’

‘The 2003 Nobel prize winner, Iranian woman lawyer, Shirin Ebadi. I would love to talk to her about the effects of the laws of Iran on women. The other person is Aung San Su Kyi, who I hope to meet one day.’

‘What personal attributes do you think have helped you reach this point in your life’?

‘I was willing to learn from the experiences of others. I do my best and my consultative approach allows me to make the majority of people I work with see my viewpoint. My position in the voluntary organisation is not important. I am driven by commitment to my vision.’

‘Do you set goals?’

‘No.’

‘What is your dream?’

‘More opportunities for women. Fairness. The elimination of poverty, which is the source of most evils. For voluntary welfare organisations whether in Singapore, regional or at the international levels, to have sufficient funds to run 
their projects.’

Rajan Chettiar

Rajan Chettiar & Co

E-mail: rajanchettiar@pacific.net.sg