IN MEMORIAM

Joseph Varghese (1948-2009)
A Daughter's Reflections

I am the person I am today because of my father. He shaped my life, influenced my decisions, guided me as a child, teenager and young adult with his values. I do not know a more principled, hard working and honest man than my father. My father was not a man of hugs and kisses, but he was a man who listened to what you were saying, whether it was about problems at work or some health related issue. On many occasions, when my sister and I would meet for our weekly Sunday lunches at our parent's home, we were likely to receive a recycled envelope from dad, with notes on how to resolve a problem discussed the previous week. My father had a difficult life. He lost his father at the age of 12. By the age of 15, he was giving tuition part-time to earn money to help support his siblings and his nephew and nieces. By the age of 21, he had completed Teacher's Training College (as it was called in those days) and began his career as a teacher. Although my father saw education as the key to a better life, because finances were very tight in those days, he sacrificed his own education to ensure that his family (extended and later immediate) were provided for first. My father taught in St. Michael's Primary School, St. Joseph's Institution and St. Patrick's Secondary School. He was a very good teacher, especially in Math. All the As my sister and I obtained for Math during our school years was entirely a result of my father's efforts. Sadly, we never mastered his mathematical abilities. He was in a class of his own when it came to Math. In the last two years, my father became interested in mastering Mandarin so that he could personally teach his three grandsons who were the light and joy of his life. He would return home at around 6pm and would study his Mandarin books for half an hour in his room. He would then teach the two elder grandsons what he had learned.

As a teacher, he was memorable to his students. After my father passed away, I was surprised to come across a file containing letters, cards, and e-mails from former students and parents of former students expressing their gratitude to my father. He never spoke a word to us about receiving these documents. He just punched two holes on them and filed them away. A former student, Robert, who had returned to Germany many years earlier, took the trouble to trace my father when he returned to Singapore about a decade ago. Since then, Robert would usually make an annual trip to Asia, stop over in Singapore and have dinner with my father and our family. The amount of trouble Robert took to trace my father spoke volumes of the type of impression my father left on the people around him.

My father's dream was to be a lawyer. It was only after he felt that my sister and I were established in school that he started studying law part-time from 1986-1987. During the day, he would teach, do his extra-curricular activities and give part-time tuition. He would usually come home at around 7pm, say his prayers, have his dinner and go to bed. He would wake up at around 2am and study until 5 or 6am and then his day would start all over again. It was a tough period in his life, but he slogged on. He was called to the bar at Lincoln's Inn in 1993. It was one of the proudest moments in my father's life. It was one of the proudest moments in my life too as I had witnessed first hand the hard work and struggles my father went through to obtain his law degree.

As a lawyer, like anything else my father did, he put in a lot of hard work. He was meticulous in his research and wrote pages and pages of notes for each of his case files. At my father's funeral, many of his clients told me that my father was not just their legal advisor, he was their mentor and friend. My father cared deeply for his clients, especially those who approached him to act for them in divorce proceedings. Where possible, he would try and effect a reconciliation.

I was told after my dad's death, that my father had expressed pride in the fact that both his daughters had followed his professional footsteps. My older sister, Valerie, is the Head of Department of Science in a local secondary school. I am practising law.

(Back row, L to R): Dad, Nicholas (my sister's husband), Valerie (my sister), Mum, myself, Rockey (my husband) (Front row, L to R): Raphael, Michael and Gabriel (my nephews)

God was at the centre of my father's life and he was a strong believer in the Blessed Virgin Mary. He attended the 9am mass at the Novena Church every Saturday, without fail. He even made it to the Novena Church on 9 May 2009, when he was seriously ill and was admitted to hospital later that day. My father's death was sudden. I only spoke to him for 15 minutes in the hospital before they moved him to the ICU. In those 15 minutes, he told me that he was extremely tired as a result of a trial he was handling on his own (between 6 to 8 May 2009). He expressed concern that he was in hospital because of some deadlines he had to meet the following week. I never imagined that my last words to my father would be about his work. Less than five minutes later, he was wheeled into the ICU unconscious. He never regained consciousness. He passed away on 10 May 2009, less than 24 hours after he was admitted to the hospital. I looked up to my father. He taught me some of life's best lessons. I am proud to be his daughter. I am proud to carry my father's name. Veronica Joseph Drew & Napier LLC