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LIFESTYLE Alter Ego |
“I am so glad that 2009 is over,” my wife said to me during the last days of last year. She was referring to some of the rather difficult periods that both of us had gone through last year. I half agreed with her. I had forgotten much of the unhappiness and was basking in the happy present created by our short vacation together.
Many agreed with me that last year was like being on a roller coaster. You cannot recall when you get on it, but only remember how fast the ride was and how it ended. “But isn’t every year like that nowadays?” you may ask. It probably is when you grow older and are busy with your life.
On New Year’s Eve, two friends asked me whether I was making any resolutions for this year. Of course not, I said. I was not really soaking in the New Year festivities. So what’s the big deal about another year? It is just going to be another hectic year filled with a lot of time spent at the office, as what lawyers had said in interviews for the October Life in Law supplement to this publication.
There was a lot written about New Year resolutions in the local dailies. What sticks in my mind is what one journalist wrote about what he will not be wanting or doing this year.
For me, 2010 will be meaningful if my following wishes come true.
Like them, I too am human and need more time to return their telephone calls, answer their e-mails and deliver their work. Appreciate the true meaning of urgency. It is not to be confused with ventilating or complaining about their spouses, their lawyers or the judicial process. Always remember that I, as their lawyer, will never compromise their interests or support their spouses’ interests.
Nothing is achieved through acrimonious correspondence, affidavits filled with emotionalism and a jungle of irrelevant facts. Let’s not forget that we are not fighting our personal causes. We are after all brethren in law. Replace animosity with friendliness and let us be amiable towards each other.
The late John F Kennedy’s famous words, “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country” resonates with me when I consider a lawyer’s relationship with the Law Society. From the time I was called to the Bar in 1997, I was clear that I was going to build a friendship with the Law Society. I first started volunteering with the Publications Committee that year, followed by my involvement with other Committees, which culminated in my current six-year stint on Council.
I also remember a Tamil proverb which goes like this: “When the town is divided, the naysayers are at their happiest”. The value of friendship is enhanced when we take the time to appreciate what the friend personally means to us, not what others say or think about that friend. When we both understand and contribute to each other, the friendship is enriched. As with all friends, we will have our differences with the Law Society, which we should understand, respect and tolerate. Other friends with similar interests, such as the Singapore Academy of Law, will come along but more friendships will only jointly enrich our professional lives and do not necessarily replace or make our old friend irrelevant.
As the years go by and the demands of life compete with our limited time, it is easy to slip into apathy. We forget to help the people around us and contribute to the society we live in – the very purpose of life. On the other hand, we manage to find the time for the activities that we want to engage in. How about replacing unhappy complaints with discussions about the role each of us can play in creating happy professional lives and a civic society where we can co-exist together? The present is the result of the creation of a group of individuals who stood up to make a difference for the others. If more people contributed to the cause, wouldn’t the fruits of our labour multiply and benefit all of us even more?
Arbitration appeared to be the most talked about and heavily publicised mode of alternative dispute resolution in 2009. Are we forgetting the other important cousin - mediation? For the individual consumer, mediation is probably the most relevant form of dispute resolution. I applaud the emphasis given to mediation in the Subordinate Courts and the opportunity for Associate Mediators of the Singapore Mediation Centre such as myself to hone our mediation skills at the Courts’ Primary Dispute Resolution Centre. Like arbitration, mediation too can offer various career opportunities to lawyers.
A law should be passed in Singapore that every religious or cultural festival be accorded a period of exclusivity. So, do not flood us with Christmas songs when we are still celebrating Deepavali or Hari Raya Puasa. And it should be illegal to start putting up Chinese New Year decorations on the first day of the English New Year.
To create a vibrant, modern and arty first world nation that we desire to be, the creation of myriad interests and activities alone is not sufficient. Singapore needs to have a soul, which is a result of the people’s behaviour and attitude, not only to tourists or expatriates living in Singapore, but towards each other. A smile, a simple hello and a helping hand when another Singaporean needs a little help will create this much-needed warmth.
Let us create the happiness that we desire much in our lives in 2010!
Rajan Chettiar
Rajan Chettiar & Co
E-mail: rajan@rajanchettiar.com